About Last Night…
Crystal is really insane. We pick back up with Crystal on the phone calling Sutton crazy. She claims that Sutton is “really coming after her, and it scares her.” Delusional party of one your table is ready. My God, they have talked it out at least three times in less than 48 hours. Crystal is the aggressor in this relationship! The following day, everyone is happy except for Crystal. When Erika gets up, she wants to check on Crystal because she thinks Crystal is “getting a lot of heat, and it’s just not justified.” What really? Rinna thinks Sutton is going through something they are not aware of. I think she’s just being Sutton. But, if she feels left out of the group, why not just be sympathetic until she is ready to talk about it?
While the others eat a lovely breakfast made by their personal chef, Garcelle wants to see a bit of the town. So, she invites Crystal out for coffee. This comes off scripted. Rinna leaves breakfast to go check on Sutton. Scripted again. Erika and the other ladies mock Sutton. This is the typical behavior that makes her feel left out. Even after filming, Erika, Kyle, Dorit, Rinna, and Teddi post on social media that they are “the five foxes.” It’s all very “Mean Girls” #YouCantSitWithUs. But, at least Rinna is willing to follow the script. Rinna was doing well at faking being nice until Kyle came in just to stir the pot. Kyle tells Sutton to apologize to Crystal. Sutton wants to know what she’d be apologizing for. She’s apologized and extended the olive branch multiple times a day. Crystal accepts it, and ten minutes later, she is snapping at Sutton again!
Let’s Just Get The Bitches On A Boat
We finally get them all o the boat. Sutton has a nice stiff drink. Again, I don’t blame her. Erika and Garcelle exchange pleasantries. Garcelle asked how Tom is, and Erika says he good. He’s busy working, “he’s at the firm right now.” She talks about how he’s dedicated his life to being a lawyer, and he loves it. I can hear the Feds scribbling during this conversation. Kathy Hilton is the best thing to ever happen to this show.
Oh, Lord. Here we go again. Sutton wants to talk privately with Crystal for the tenth time. Scripted. Sutton says she didn’t appreciate being called a ridiculous human the night before. Crystal says, “okay,” after each point Sutton makes. It’s very condescending. It’s evident that neither one of these two would be talking alone if they weren’t made to. Sutton tells Crystal she feels like she is very abrupt with her. Crystal spits out another “okay.” Crystal calls Sutton crazy, erratic, and untrustworthy. She’s such a gaslighter. She sounds like one of those guys that say that to his girlfriend while constantly treating her like shit. Meanwhile, Sutton is not helping her sanity cause by using that weird face roller to “soothe her.” Sutton says she is fragile from having to sell her forever home. Sutton cries and apologizes a few more times for…? What exactly?
The Last Supper
The women head back to the house, where they find a pastry chef making fresh donuts. They all chow down. Rinna goes to her room. Dorit beats Kyle at bocce ball. Then everyone meets back up for “the last supper.” Garcelle randomly asks everyone, “How many of you have had a nose job?” Don’t any of the housewives on ANY FRANCHISE know what is and is not proper dinner conversation? Production puts a before and after photo up of Dorit. She’s unrecognizable in the before picture. Big honker of a nose. She’s shouts out that she’s never had a nose job. Kyle knows she is lying. But, hey, they are supposedly besties this season.
Crystal is not coming to dinner. She’s having a mental meltdown of some sort. I hope Sutton calls her crazy and tells her she’s being unpredictable. Alternately, Sutton apologizes to the entire dinner table. When Crystal is not there, suddenly everyone is very supportive of Sutton. Rinna moves the discussion on to the topic of rape. This is not only not a proper dinner table conversation. It’s bizarre coming from Rinna. She, of all people, might want to steer clear of that topic. As Garcelle said, “Sometimes it’s okay to say nothing.” Rinna’s point is that is why she didn’t support Denise. Why are we talking about Denise on TV again? She’s gone. She should be off-limits.
After dinner, Rinna wants to swim, and no one will swim with her, so Sutton gets her swimsuit on and joins. They choreograph a water routine that surprisingly was pretty good. Rinna takes her wet self to bed. Crystal comes downstairs. Oh, God. I see more Sutton abuse coming. Crystal tells Kyle that when Sutton came upstairs to her room to give her her coat, she walked into her room, and she was naked. It upset her. I can totally see that. But Sutton did knock. You know what else I can see? Before this happened, Erika randomly asked Kyle if she’d ever done any nude photos for Mauricio. The writers don’t even attempt authenticity anymore.
Even Kyle wonders, or perhaps the script told her to wonder why she didn’t mention it to anyone for 24 hours if she was so upset about it. I wouldn’t have mentioned it at all. This whole season looks pretty contrived except for Kathy. I did not get enough Kathy in this episode. Kathy is golden. The following day before they head home, Sutton, ONCE AGAIN, tries to apologize to Crystal. Finally, I am on Crystal’s side. Sutton needs to understand the point of knocking. You don’t knock and walk in. You knock and wait for permission. They hug it out again. Sutton needs to REALLY back off at this point. I’d be creeped out too if someone I barely knew and didn’t really care for walked on on me naked and stuck around while I tried to cover myself.
Back in Beverly Hills…
News breaks that Erika has filed for divorce. Let the gossiping begin. Maybe this will take some heat off of Sutton. Erika sent them a group text to let them know that she had filed on the morning of election day. Everyone is gobsmacked.